Has it been this long?

How wrong is it that it took me GOOGLING MY OWN NAME before I re-discovered this blog. Wow, my own narcissism, is what brought me back.

Example of above mentioned narcissism...

I can’t deny that the past 7 years (and especially the past 2 1/2) have been interesting, if not downright scary at times. However, I am in a wonderful place, with a great company, and family that are genuinely excited about coming to Florida to live. For that…I am thankful.

I could go on and on about what has happened in my life since I last explored the blogosphere…about the experiences that life has given me, about realizing what is truly important, and how not to take the smallest things for granted. But instead:

NINJA KITTEH!!!!!!

Little Friskies...or I pluck the dog's eye out like Pai Mei taught me.

It’s good to be back, America…

Holy crap…

Hello, blogosphere…my old friend…

How long has it been? Quite a while, I guess. If you have been a regular follower of this blog (and if you are…why?) you’ll notice I have not posted a new one in quite some time.I wish I had a good reason for this…but I don’t. So……….deal with my laziness.

I’ll have a more detailed, and humorous post in the next day or two, so until then…enjoy this photo of the awesome power of birds.

Just curious…

How in the HECK am I getting any hits, with such a paltry amount of interaction? Geez? Up to 90-100 per day? Wow…y’all are just desperate. I know my missives have been few and far between. But, I have a good excuse:

Inside the Presidential loo...

I’m making these…

Not LITERALLY, mind you…although it could be more lucrative, albeit felonious.

Nah…I have a job. A damn good one, if I do say so my damn self.  Because of that…I don’t have as much time to search for the absurdity in life, it just shows up at my office door now.

That being said…more stuff I love. And YES, I would have done this too with my kids, my wife knows this.

Bored…

I am almost done with vacation…a well-deserved one in my opinion (your actual opinion my vary. I am currently at the airport in Las Vegas, waiting for my (now delayed) plane. I am on a layover (Not that kind of layover, but what happens in Vegas…), and am bored out of my mind.  I am tired of the slot machines…although the Star Wars ones seem pretty cool…

Not Droids.

I spent last week in Sacramento on vacation. For the first time in YEARS, I was able to enjoy the 4th of July with my family. It’s a (pun intended) blast. The capper to the night was the immolation of over $1000 in fireworks.  We celebrated our Nation’s independence the only way Real Americans should…by blowing shit up.

Oh say can you...RUN!!!!

After that, the week was a collection of memories. From Golf with my in-laws, to a day trip to San Francisco, and all points in the middle…I had fun. And I want to come back.

However, I must stop, my laptop battery is croaking. However, to close this missive, the guy sitting next to me has a freakin’ bar code tattooed on his arm. You read correctly, A BAR CODE!  I really want to look it up to see what it is for…or how much this yutz thinks he’s worth. What are you…a steak?

Scan me...I'm special, and $1.99 a pound.

Tattoo fail.

Day One…

Okay, Tuesday is the day that Barack Obama becomes the 44th President of these United States. How do I feel about this? I don’t feel anything, other than I better see my taxes go up because of the $170,000,000 inaugural.  Just don’t screw it up, and we’ll be good. Did I vote for Obama? No…but don’t judge…I have my reasons.

Why I am posting something fairly political on a webpage that has more to do with who gets more votes on American Idol? Simple…because I care about our audience, and that would be you. Much has been said about the change that will take place during our new President’s adminstration. How diamonds will fall from the sky and we’ll all have electric cars by Noon Wednesday…just because there is change. Guess what, students…ain’t gonna happen.

My advice, as a manager of some sort, is to continue to work hard no matter what you do. Those are the goals that I set for my own employees and for my family. Do not expect anything that you did not earn yourself. that is how we can and will change. What do I expect from our new President? Honestly…not much. Then again, I didn’t expect much from Bush, Clinton, or Bush. I’m not asking for a handout…and no one else should either. And anyone who tells me that my life will get better just because I voted for you, is a liar…pure and simple. Prove to me that you mean what you say…and then do it. that’s what Barry needs to do…stop making speeches until the job is done. When the economy is back to normal, and we all get surplus checks instead of tax bills, then…I will have your back.

Good luck, President Obama…now go to work and I’ll think about keeping you around in 4 years. If not…I’m calling Mitt.

Kids…and what to do with them.

This week, I am fortunate enough to have my family with me in Alabama. After only one day, it has already been quite an adventure…mostly because of my 7-year-old, Allyn.

It started when I brought them in for a tour of my office, where she noticed that we were in the middle of an infestation of ladybugs. Yes, ladybugs.The cutest bug in the world to a 7 year old.

I'm CUTE!

She immediately noticed that most of the ladybugs had gone to heaven, and that the remaining ladybugs needed to be saved. She proceeded to pick up as many ladybugs as she could, which prompted me to find a container for her use in capturing the ladybugs to be released in the wild.

After she had collected the 9 survivors, we continued our tour and stopped in on one of my fellow Program Directors, Jimbo Wood of 105.5 the Vulcan. Before I could formally introduce him to anyone, my little chatterbox was off and running, explaining in GREAT detail the plight of the ladybugs… Jimbo, to his credit, hung on her every word.  We then exited and released the ladybugs into the bushes outside the building.

At that point, it was time for lunch. I suggested a place that I knew the kids would enjoy and would empower them to make their own choices…Mongolian Barbecue.

We had some fun with my Blackberry taking pictures, but even though they ate quite a bit, Allyn was a bit squirelly. She asked to sit on the same side of the her older sister and I were on. Normally, we say no to this, but I was in a good mood, and gave the okay. She then took a spot in the center of the booth.

After a few minutes, she began to get a bit nutty and loud, and after she announced loudly that she had “farted”, I leaned in close and asked if she “knew where she was”, implying that she was in a restaurant and needed to stop. She thought about the question for a second, and replied:

“In the middle?”

I stopped cold…and just started laughing. “In the middle”…

My wife, God bless her, tried to keep a straight face, however that was also impossible, as evidenced by her reaction. Just priceless.

Allyn is a handful, but she is also one of a kind, and the only 7-year-old vegetarian I know (you heard me).

My kid…I think i’ll keep her.

I’ve noticed something…

…if you walk up to pretty girls at a cocktail party with a video camera, and ask them to say how much they love your radio station on camera, they will either:

A: get embarrassed and oblige.

B: become VERY excited and get extremely chatty…ruining your basic idea.

C: call for security.

D: do EVERYTHING beautifully…ask for station swag (which we HAPPILY provided)…and then screw up the name of your station… (ie: “Magic 65.9″)

If you picked “D”, you have the story of my evening.

The heck with concert tickets…I’m bringing big ole’ cue cards next time.

I am now a prisoner…

…a prisoner of Technology.

Let me clarify by sayng that I LOVE gadgets.  My laptop…HDTV…technology is my friend. However, my friend has just become more of a part of my life than I could ever imagine:

I have a Blackberry.

Not Actual Size

Yes, I am now connected 24/7 to the world around me, as my employer has purchased a BlackBerry for my use.  I have a BlackBerry Pearl, which I will be exchanging for one that has an actual keyboard…like my Treo. I feel like when I send an e-mail, that I am using my daughters phone to text my friends…since the keys can represent 2 different letters. RUwitme? This means that when you type, it guesses what you are saying, and goes from there. I am not amused. No one guesses what Lance Ballance has to say…they are to understand and obey my words. I want…..keys.

It may cost me, but I will be uprading to the Curve or Storm when that comes out. The Pearl is just too…too………..cute for me.

CUL8R.

Time to call the Men In Black…

“Zed, we have a bug…”-Tommy Lee Jones, Men In Black

Noooooooo shit.

This is my new roommate.

Hi...I'm Ba-roach Obama.

I have noticed the occasional “critter” in my domain, but this guy made his presence known last night, climbing up the wall in my room.  I will not lie…this guy was HUGE! Easily the size of my thumb, or perhaps an Olympic gymnast. 

So, I did this first thing any red-blooded American would do, I took a picture (it lasts longer). After capturing him on celluloid, it became time to capture him with toilet paper.  Not only was he large…but fast. Eventually, I caught up with Arnold Roachenegger, and after giving him a good squeeze, tossed him in the toilet.

At that point, I discovered that the myth that, like Keith Richards, roaches can survive anything……was true.

F--- with me, NOT!

He began to do his best Michael Phelps impression and made a break for it…in the toilet. Too bad my trigger finger was quicker than his ability to levitate his 6-legged ass out of my bowl…and down he went.

If he was this cute...he'd still be alive...

Apartment living…LIVE THE DREAM!!!

Reggie Dunlop, 1925-2008.

As much as it sucks to hear that Paul Newman is gone, I must reflect on one of his greatest films.

No, it’s not Cool Hand Luke, The Color Of Money, Absence of Malice (although I LOVED the 5 Neat Guys placing it in their Oscar Medley). Rather, his greatest on-screen moment had to be an exchange with Strother Martin…and there is NO Failure to communicate…

Absolutely Not Safe For Work…

“Better they play with their toys than play with themselves…”

“They’re too dumb to play with themselves…”

You got it…it’s Slap Shot.

How ironic that I chose to watch Slap Shot again last week, just prior to the news that Paul had gone to coach the Nighthawks.  Something must have been in the air…

Miss you, Reggie!