Children’s Hospital

Even though I have only lived in Birmingham for 3 1/2 days, I feel compelled to blog about Magic 96.5′s radiothon, which is going on until Friday at Colonial Brookwood. Why do I feel compelled to blog about this? Three reasons.

First…come on, it’s MAGIC 96.5! Gotta shout it out for my new peeps! Rob & Shannon, Ericka, and JT are making miracles happen on the air, so take time to call and help the kids of Alabama who need our help.

Second and Third…Daryn and Allyn Ballance, my daughters. If anything happened to them, I would not know what to do. Thank God for places like Children’s Hospital, so that I can be assured that if anything happens to my kids, I know they will be taken care of. If you have kids…or are planning on it someday, you know what I am talking about. This is similar to purchasing an insurance policy…you are insuring that your kids will recieve the best care available.

Be sure to click here to check out Magic 96.5 online for all of the phone numbers, and to listen live if you are outside the Birmingham area.

You can also click below to make a donation online…

Donate here

PUNK’D! (or…welcome to the team…)

Yesterday was Day One here at Magic 96.5, and I guess that as “the new guy”, it is a rite of passage to be pranked by someone on staff. This…I have experienced.

Yesterday afternoon, I stopped in to meet one of my team members, and missed an overhead page summoning me to the front lobby. I asked someone for directions to the soda machine, and was told that I was being paged. I checked the lobby and asked who was looking for me. I was greeted by a very pleasant lady who introduced herself as a representative of some health care organization (I have blocked out what was actually said). She explained that as condition of my employment, that I was required to take a DRUG TEST.

Does this test for hops and barley? If so...I'm done.

Wha????

She then produced a small box, that contained a home drug testing kit, and asked that I “fill up the cup and return it”. I looked at her with a hint of trepidation, and asked the most ridiculous question ever: “You mean, right NOW?” She answered in the affirmative and smiled. At this point, I started to retreat out of the lobby and do my duty. As I was leaving, I took a quick, embarrassed look around the lobby to see who was watching this exchange, and noticed one of my new, fellow Program Directors, Paul Cashin of WERC standing off to the side. As I turned towards him, he began to laugh uncontrollably. I also noticed our Marketing Director, Cindee Standridge as well (who has denied any and all involvement). At that stage…I knew I’d been had. Well played, funnyman. I had heard the stories of how Paul LOVES to prank folks, and has a twisted sense of humor…I now have first hand experience in this field.

I was told later in the day that if I retaliate I may want to wait until his guard is down. Also, if I do plan a counter-attack, that Paul does not understand the term “proportional response”. Uh oh…loose cannon.

A storm is coming. This will be fun…

Roll Tide

…or “WAR EAGLE”! It’s early…i’ll decide on one soon enough.

The rumors of my new employment are true. As I mistakenly said to someone a few moments ago, I am off the Government Cheese, and back to Gruyere (don’t print that, R&R…) I am proud to say that I am rejoining Clear Channel, this time as Program Director of WMJJ-FM (Magic 96.5) in Birmingham, Alabama. I was able to travel to B-ham last weekend to scout out rental locations, and was truly taken aback by how wonderful the area was. I took my family to see the statue of “Vulcan” (and his naked arse), went to the McWane Science Center, and spent time just driving around, enjoying the town.

Do you feel a draft out here?

I think I’m gonna like it here…

The Voice of God

Because of this man…I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico…

Rest in Peace, Don…

To all 67 of you who voted…

…THANK YOU!

Even though I had no knowledge that I was included in the poll, 67 people somehow found my name on the THIRD page of the WREG Favorite DJ Poll.

 

All of you ROCK! If you can verify that you voted for me…I will give you a dollar.

That’s apparently what the guys who won did…To quote Jill Bucko…”I’m just sayin’”.

At least I beat Mike Fleming…

Here they go again…

They are at it again..Ron & Karen were talking abut baby names this morning when yet another unprovoked attack came. This time, Ron wondered if Lance was a popular baby name anymore and then said that NO ONE would name their child Lance.  Uh…RONALD???? Hello??? At least he admitted that his name wasn’t cool anymore due to Ronald McDonald…

From one clown to another…:)

So, I looked to see who’s name was more popular. According to the Social Security Administration (Nervous laugh…) in 2006 RONALD was the 251st most popular name…down from 112th in 1992…a drop of over 70%!! Meanwhile, LANCE was the 321nd most popular name (I never said it was cool…just making a point), down from #204 in 1992. A drop of only about 55%. It looks like Ron’s name is becoming UNPOPULAR faster than mine! GAME, SET, MATCH!

Like I was saying, I never said I had a cool name, I have a unique name. My Daughters have unique names. In the long run…it makes you more memorable, and creates a greater first impression.  At least that’s what I keep telling myself. If I had a boy, would I have named him “Lance”? Hell, no. Teasing sucks…trust me on this.

My Morning Show…

It seems that Ron & Karen have taken exception with the fact that I like to SHARE MY LIFE with you all…they had no problem saying that I must have some sort of ego, due to the fact that I have posted a few times about things that happen in MY LIFE.  They talked about the pictures of my head and my uneven sideburns on the air this morning, and then claimed I was some sort of narcissist. Let’s face it, folks…this is MY blog…and I can say what I feel here. If I am upset about the fact that a hairdresser MANGLED my sideburns…so be it, I am going to blog about it.  I’d rather open a window into the personal side of my life that I may not get to share that often on the air, rather than posting pictures of Bat Boy and saying that “lance burned a cheese sandwich today, he was madd”.

Or the “rare photo of Karen at her wedding” from Ron’s blog today…yeah, uh..okay.

Of course, I love them both dearly. I really do… But Ron LIES!!!! And this actually a picture of Ron when he found out that Golf Galaxy was closing down.

At least I’m not posting about those bloody LOLcats…they need to die.

Your LEEEEEADUH!!!

If you don’t know me, I am a HUGE fan of classic Top 40 radio. Maybe that’s why I do what I do for a living…

Just a few days ago, radio lost another legend. Jack Armstrong.  Jack was AMAZING. I used to listen to Jack during when he was on KFRC, during a time when he was without The Go-rilla. This is a video clip of Jack driving Southern California home in 1985 on 93 KKHR Los Angeles (about 4 years before I got to LA and KOST). In it, he gives an example of his LEGENDARY sign-off…

This is an example of the magic that is radio. Forget the goofy stunts, the Howard Stern’s of the world, and everyone like them. This is awesome. This is why many young air talent got into the biz. I will be trolling YouTube and other sites to find more like this to share, but I felt that we honor a real legend….the Motormouth, Jackson Armstrong, The All-American Boy…………Your LEADER!!! 

My alter-ego

In addition to my day job of programming and announcticating on FM 100, I am also involved with a great online radio station on Live 365. It’s That 70′s Channel.

It’s run by one of my oldest friends, Bud Kress. I am the image voice for the station…it’s too much fun! If you’re looking for a good time, check out the station…and if you’re looking for a new image voice…check it out and hit me up! I’m affordable!