“It’s Christmastime…there’s no need to be afraid….” Band Aid, 1984
Do They Know It’s Christmas? I do, but I wish I didn’t…
I’ve always been a BIG Christmas guy. Maybe it’s the type of work I used to do, which bred creativity and spirit in the season…or maybe that I loved the camaraderie with family and friends each year and the idea that yes…everyone enjoyed each other’s company and love.
I used to love the company Christmas parties. The past few years, I was asked to get up and say a few words, and I always felt a sense of pride and love for my team as we celebrated another year as friends and colleagues.
I was one of the few who actually enjoyed scheduling Christmas Music. It is an art, and as monotonous as it would seem at times, I always enjoyed the end product, and how it made people feel. I still have an article from Radio & Records Magazine, where I was the FIRST station in the nation to go All-Christmas in 2004. We had TV coverage, and it was an amazing feeling.
In our house, I traditionally played Santa. I would put up the tree, and get it ready for the massive number of decorations that we had acquired. I enjoyed coffee on Christmas morning, and an endless stream of texts, phone calls, and tidings of comfort and joy…
I loved Christmas…
I want nothing more than for Christmas to be over and done. I have dreaded the holidays this year, and can safely say that I have absolutely ZERO Christmas Spirit. If you have any insight as to the circumstances around my world right now, you may understand why. However, as I see people enjoying Christmas Lights, Holiday Parties, and even Christmas Shopping…I am removed from all of that. I am not participating in Christmas this year.
I have not listened to a single Christmas song, or really sought out any kind of Christmas movies (except Die Hard…which is REQUIRED viewing in Casa De Lance). A friend turned me on to “White Christmas” with Bing Crosby some time ago, and while it seems to be on ad nauseum…I cannot bring myself to watch it. I even decided to forego “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, which I would always set an appointment to watch.
Every year, decorating for Christmas was fun, at home and work, and I made it a point to be one of the LAST people to take it down in our home. I hated seeing it go away. But, this year…not one ornament has been taken out of its box. I did cave in and bring in a small desktop Christmas Tree, just so there would be some symbol of the season, but I can guarantee you…on December 26th, it will go back into storage.
If you know the whole story, you may understand why I feel this way. I can only hope and pray that next year…I can participate. Not being able to go shopping, or see lights, or share time with family and friends is absolutely killing me. I want Christmas…and New Years…to be in my rear view quickly. I want 2017 to be a faded memory…there was some good in this year, but a lot of false promises and stupid choices. I look past the holidays with hope, and terror. Not knowing…is the worst.
However, to you…I wish you a wonderful and joyous Christmas…and I hope at some point…we can share a cup of cheer some year. Just not this year.
“Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, but I think I’ll miss this one this year…” The Waitresses-Christmas Wrapping