Paula Abdul…what more can you say?

Well, AS I PREDICTED EARLIER…Paula was ON last night. On what? We have no idea.

But, to recap,  Idol wannabe had already performed ONCE in the show, when the judges were asked their opinions about that song. (Break from normal, after all, they had to hurry because Hell’s Kitchen comes on right after…and heaven forbid we miss a moment of that Peabody-Award contender…whatever.) Paula (for some reason, probably chemically fueled) thought that Jason “Shampoo is my enemy” Castro had sung TWO songs. Hilarity ensued…

I’ll have what she’s having…

An Idol Diamond…

Hate to say it, but American Idol has totally lost touch with their target audience.

Case in point: Their Mentors.

Last week, we had Andrew Lloyd Webber, who NONE of the 13-year-olds who were texting their votes for Jason Castro because they like his 4:20 hairstyle knew. And now they toss in…The Hippest of The Hip…NEIL FREAKIN’ DIAMOND!!!

…………………what?

When we wanted Hipper Mentors, we weren’t taLking about hip REPLACEMENT! Come ON, Idol! Geez, what’s next week? The Guy who sang “I’m Henry the 8th, I am”???? Or, Placido Domingo???

Worse yet, after looking at the song list (thank you, TMZ), I noticed that NONE of the Idols are planning on singing “Brother Love’s Travelling Salvation Show“…THAT I would have wanted to see! Marla and I both said as much on the air today, so we played a snippet, it would bring the house down…trust us.

Way to stay on the cutting edge, guys. Better order a double Oxy-contini for Paula…she’ll need it this week.

Shark=jumped.

Best Of Both Worlds

It appears that the axiom of Hollywood devouring it’s young strikes again. First it was Lindsay Lohan, Then Brit-Brit, now Miley Cyrus is on the list of those who are about to fall victim to the “too much, too soon” train.

Some time ago, Miley and her cameraphone gained exposure on sites like TMZ and Perez Hilton for a couple of “come-hither” poses that could be considered uncomfortable, due to the fact that she is only 15. Originally, even though the gossip sites went ape, it wasn’t considered that big fo a deal, and a mistake that kids make. Biggest concern is that she is a BIGGEST FREAKIN’ STAR that tweens have right now. Do I want my kid taking alluring photos when she is 15…Hell no. I thought that her dad would have put the kibosh on this sort of stuff. But, it happened again. this time, there is a young fella in the photos with her. I won’t post the photos here, but will link them instead. here is TMZ’s article. It’s time to ground her, and keep her away from cameras….or so I thought.

UPDATE: She and sponge father Billy Ray Cyrus are featured in an article in Vanity Fair which features a photo shot from famed photographer Annie Leibovitz.  Just when you thought you couldn’t sexualize a 15 year old any more…think again. She has taken a photo in which she is only covered by a blanket. Once again, no photos here, but here is the link to the article. The “blanket photo” is on page 2.

Sorry, but even though my daughter loves Hannah Montana, I’m not comfortable with the track Miley is on. Billy Ray needs to be ashamed that he has allowed this to go on. I don’t want to sound holier-than-thou, but it may be time to be a dad…instead of a co-star and manager.

Here they go again…

They are at it again..Ron & Karen were talking abut baby names this morning when yet another unprovoked attack came. This time, Ron wondered if Lance was a popular baby name anymore and then said that NO ONE would name their child Lance.  Uh…RONALD???? Hello??? At least he admitted that his name wasn’t cool anymore due to Ronald McDonald…

From one clown to another…:)

So, I looked to see who’s name was more popular. According to the Social Security Administration (Nervous laugh…) in 2006 RONALD was the 251st most popular name…down from 112th in 1992…a drop of over 70%!! Meanwhile, LANCE was the 321nd most popular name (I never said it was cool…just making a point), down from #204 in 1992. A drop of only about 55%. It looks like Ron’s name is becoming UNPOPULAR faster than mine! GAME, SET, MATCH!

Like I was saying, I never said I had a cool name, I have a unique name. My Daughters have unique names. In the long run…it makes you more memorable, and creates a greater first impression.  At least that’s what I keep telling myself. If I had a boy, would I have named him “Lance”? Hell, no. Teasing sucks…trust me on this.

My Neighbor’s Restaurant

I usually don’t go out of my way to endorse or promote any products or places (Corona…Miles Away from Ordinary), but wanted to give every the heads up about a new restaurant that my next door neighbor owns. His name is Curtis Chism, and he owns Onix, on South Main. First off, Curtis may be one the best and nicest neighbors we’ve ever had, and he is also one if the busiest. Every time we look out the window, he is either coming home from work, or leaving work. Busy Guy…

The lovely Mrs. Ballance and I had the pleasure of going to Onix a few weeks back, and I was about as impressed as I have ever been. The atmosphere was fun, and relaxed, with a great Jazz Trio playing in teh corner. The wait staff was on top of their game as well. We never needed to ask if we needed something (maybe it was the fact that Curtis came over and greeted us when we walked in, gotta take care of the bosses acquaintances…:))  The Wine was good (duh), but the food was what made it all work. Onix is a very hip, upscale Chicken and Waffles restaurant with so much more. Having lived in LA and enjoyed Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, I was really excited about the fact that we finally had a place like that here in Memphis. We had the 20 piece Chicken Dinner (Buffalo Style)…BEST Buffalo Wings I have ever had, Period. And no, that wasn’t the wine talking (even though she had a realy purty voice…)

I HIGHLY recommend you check Onix out. 412 South Main.

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Hey Ole Miss Fans!

Eli Manning is getting Married!!! He and his longtime girlfriend Abby McGrew will be tying the knot in a quaint little ceremony in Cabo San Lucas, at a hotel none of us can afford.

If you’d like to purchase the Mannings a gift from their registry at Neiman-Marcus, click right here. Knock yourself out…

The New England Patriots defense will not be attending, as they never were close to Eli the last time they saw one another.