I’ve fallen and…stop me if you’ve heard this before.

Well, if you have been following my wife’s vacation blog, you know that she is in California as we speak, anxiously awaiting the arrival of her man on Saturday. (If he doesn’t show up…I’ll be there anyway…) However, I can safely say that it is nearly impossible to have a Ballance Family Vacation…without a side trip to the Urgent Care. For example:

1995: Lance’s 10 High School Re-union. Brenda gets an ear infection…trip to Kaiser.

1996-2004: I forget if anything happened…let’s move on.

2005: Vacation in Orlando. Daughter Allyn ALSO gets an ear infection…trip to ER, at 11:30 at night.

2008: Vacation to Sacramento. No Ear Infection (yet). Wife injures foot trying to catch my mother. (Why they were tossing Mom around…I’ll never know).  

Yes, I got the call today that Brenda had injured herself. She explained what happened, and then asked me if she should go to the Urgent Care. That made me think… She is 2000 miles away. I have not seen her foot. She tells me it is swollen and painful…she is 2000 MILES AWAY, and asks me my expert medical opinion.  Without having seen said foot, my response as a loving and doting husband was: “Huh? What are you asking ME for? Go see a doctor!!” 

Here is the photo of the foot-ball.  In honor of the Governor of California: “It’s not a too-mahhhh”.

I would have been less puzzled if she had simply said “I hurt my foot, and am going to the ER”. But, she had to ask me…me…the guy without any medical training and 6 states between us…if she should go. Trust me…asking me medical advice is like asking the cat how to do open-heart surgery.

This is Dr F.E. Line. She is not in your HMO’s network.

I wonder if she got that foot taken care of. It looks pretty bad…


Author: Lance Ballance

No TV and No Beer make Lance...something something...

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