Reggie Dunlop, 1925-2008.

As much as it sucks to hear that Paul Newman is gone, I must reflect on one of his greatest films.

No, it’s not Cool Hand Luke, The Color Of Money, Absence of Malice (although I LOVED the 5 Neat Guys placing it in their Oscar Medley). Rather, his greatest on-screen moment had to be an exchange with Strother Martin…and there is NO Failure to communicate…

Absolutely Not Safe For Work…

“Better they play with their toys than play with themselves…”

“They’re too dumb to play with themselves…”

You got it…it’s Slap Shot.

How ironic that I chose to watch Slap Shot again last week, just prior to the news that Paul had gone to coach the Nighthawks.  Something must have been in the air…

Miss you, Reggie!


Unbelievable…but true (part deux)

When we last left Clay Aiken, he was going to be a baby daddy. Well, not so unbelievable is the revelation that Clay…is officially playing for the other team.

When reached for comment, Captain Obvious had this reaction: “Duh.”

My reaction is even simpler: “SO?” Why this is news…boggles the mind. Big Deal.


I’m still waiting for that Lindsay Lohan/Sam Ronson “Crying Game” revelation…don’t tell me that isn’t on the way.

Lindsay! Why won't you call anymore???
Lindsay! Why won't you call anymore?

Honestly, if I were lesbionic…I’d pick a hotter girl than Samuel. Sam looks too much like a dude to believe a word of the lesbian stuff. Lindsay may be very nearsighted…that explains it.

The Single Life…

This should pretty much sum it up:

Left work last night at 6:45.

Got home to the party pad, cracked open a beer, and made pasta. Then…Seabiscuit on DVD.

2 beers and Seabiscuit winning the Santa Anita Handicap later, Lance sleep.

Yeah…guys, living away from your family is a non-stop party. I’ll get one of my drunken nude female party-goers to clean my dishes…oh, wait.

I’m 41…no party, work tomorrow.

Yeah, it’s been a while…

I almost feel bad about not blogging much over the past few weeks. After all, it’s not like I moved out of my house to another state to take a new (infinitely BETTER) job…or is it? Oh yeah, all that stuff happened.

I can now confirm that even though I am happily married with kids…I am living the bachelor life. 1 bedroom apartment, mattress on floor, only beer and wine in fridge…no furniture…no problem.  However, this being me, there had to be some dramatic calamity that caused aggravation, and I got it my very first night in the apartment.

This guy...will make your deposit "non-refundable".
This guy...will make your deposit non-refundable.

No, I didn’t have Nordic Warriors conducting drills on my deck, I just needed an excuse to run this picture. Governor Conan… tee hee… Huh? Oh….AHEM! Anyway, I decided to run the dishwasher once with no dishes in it, just to make sure that it was totally clean (Just a habit…I’m not obsessive complu—DAMMIT! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8!) . After a few moments of hearing the dishwasher run, I noticed that a small puddle was forming on the floor. Small in the sense of: “Rhode Island is a small state…but it still takes an hour to drive across”. I immediately turned off the dishwasher and opened the cabinet doors. A simple hose had come undone. Not a real tragedy. I simply used a key to tighten the camp and we were back in business. However, I needed to use my brand new towels to mop up the mess. I had no paper towels, so I had to get out the good linens…bummer.

Looking for these, sailor?
Looking for these, sailor?

After wiping up Lake Superior, I placed the towels in my kitchen sink, but needed one to mop up a bathroom spill (no showercurtain). I then left that towel on the bathroom floor overnight. The next evening, it was time to wash said towels. I placed them in a plastic grocery bag and headed for the laundry room. When it came time to take the towels out of the bag, I noticed a noise in the bag. Then…a movement. Uh Oh. I had no clue what was inside, but finally got a peek at the source of the issue. The beast and I were face to face…



It was this guy…a small lizard/gecko/thing had either crawled into the plastic bag…or had taken up residence in my towels back at the apartment. So, I may very well have more small lizard type creatures in my bachelor pad…or not. I made sure to release the creature back into the wild, and allowed it to live.

Nothing like a little nature in suburbia.

Children’s Hospital

Even though I have only lived in Birmingham for 3 1/2 days, I feel compelled to blog about Magic 96.5’s radiothon, which is going on until Friday at Colonial Brookwood. Why do I feel compelled to blog about this? Three reasons.

First…come on, it’s MAGIC 96.5! Gotta shout it out for my new peeps! Rob & Shannon, Ericka, and JT are making miracles happen on the air, so take time to call and help the kids of Alabama who need our help.

Second and Third…Daryn and Allyn Ballance, my daughters. If anything happened to them, I would not know what to do. Thank God for places like Children’s Hospital, so that I can be assured that if anything happens to my kids, I know they will be taken care of. If you have kids…or are planning on it someday, you know what I am talking about. This is similar to purchasing an insurance policy…you are insuring that your kids will recieve the best care available.

Be sure to click here to check out Magic 96.5 online for all of the phone numbers, and to listen live if you are outside the Birmingham area.

You can also click below to make a donation online…

Donate here
Donate here

PUNK’D! (or…welcome to the team…)

Yesterday was Day One here at Magic 96.5, and I guess that as “the new guy”, it is a rite of passage to be pranked by someone on staff. This…I have experienced.

Yesterday afternoon, I stopped in to meet one of my team members, and missed an overhead page summoning me to the front lobby. I asked someone for directions to the soda machine, and was told that I was being paged. I checked the lobby and asked who was looking for me. I was greeted by a very pleasant lady who introduced herself as a representative of some health care organization (I have blocked out what was actually said). She explained that as condition of my employment, that I was required to take a DRUG TEST.

Does this test for hops and barley? If so...I'm done.
Does this test for hops and barley? If so...I'm done.


She then produced a small box, that contained a home drug testing kit, and asked that I “fill up the cup and return it”. I looked at her with a hint of trepidation, and asked the most ridiculous question ever: “You mean, right NOW?” She answered in the affirmative and smiled. At this point, I started to retreat out of the lobby and do my duty. As I was leaving, I took a quick, embarrassed look around the lobby to see who was watching this exchange, and noticed one of my new, fellow Program Directors, Paul Cashin of WERC standing off to the side. As I turned towards him, he began to laugh uncontrollably. I also noticed our Marketing Director, Cindee Standridge as well (who has denied any and all involvement). At that stage…I knew I’d been had. Well played, funnyman. I had heard the stories of how Paul LOVES to prank folks, and has a twisted sense of humor…I now have first hand experience in this field.

I was told later in the day that if I retaliate I may want to wait until his guard is down. Also, if I do plan a counter-attack, that Paul does not understand the term “proportional response”. Uh oh…loose cannon.

A storm is coming. This will be fun…

Roll Tide

…or “WAR EAGLE”! It’s early…i’ll decide on one soon enough.

The rumors of my new employment are true. As I mistakenly said to someone a few moments ago, I am off the Government Cheese, and back to Gruyere (don’t print that, R&R…) I am proud to say that I am rejoining Clear Channel, this time as Program Director of WMJJ-FM (Magic 96.5) in Birmingham, Alabama. I was able to travel to B-ham last weekend to scout out rental locations, and was truly taken aback by how wonderful the area was. I took my family to see the statue of “Vulcan” (and his naked arse), went to the McWane Science Center, and spent time just driving around, enjoying the town.

Do you feel a draft out here?
Do you feel a draft out here?

I think I’m gonna like it here…