Happy Thanksgiving from the NFL…

Every Thanksgiving, America enjoys a tradition that has been passed down from generations. Our Fathers…and our Father’s Father’s have all experienced this Thanksgiving ritual for years…for which there appears to be no end. What is this ritual? Does it involve food? Drink? Far from it…

bailout
...and, he's the owner of the team.

It is the annual suck-fest, that is The Detroit Lions.

As I type, the Kittens are being blasted by the Tennessee Titans, 47-10 on Thanksgiving Day. They are a mere 0-12. They may not make the playoffs at this pace. However, their ineptitude is not why I write about the Lions…indirectly. It is the fact that they play EVERY SINGLE THANKSGIVING DAY! It is a tradition for Detroit to host an NFL game on Thanksgiving day. It is also tradition for John Goodman to close down the buffet at Chuck-A-Rama…but we don’t need it televised. Ever.

The NFL has a WONDERFUL idea…called Flex Scheduling. They will move the game that they feel might make the most sense to a national audience to a prime time slot late in the season. I would propose that in this instance, they use that rule for Thansgiving Day games as well. This way, we actually have teams that we may want to ACTUALLY WATCH on Thanksgiving. Instead, we get games that make us lose our appetite…Thanks, Lions.

pray

I’m all for tradition, don’t get me wrong. But, in this case…no one outside of Eastern Michigan needs to see first hand the nightmare that is Detriot Lions Football. Sometimes…”we’ve always done it this way” does not bode well.

47-10…please.

In fact, at this pace…I may go as far as to suggest that the Lions NEVER be allowed to play on National Television again…

Yes, it’s harsh…but geez they suck.

Green Week

As usual, I was transfixed like the rest of the country on Sunday Night, enjoying the NFL on NBC. I hate to say it, but Monday Night Football is dead to me because of this (and the fact that I don’t have cable in the bachelor pad, but that’s another blog for another day). As I settled in for an evening of Al and John while reminding myself that Keith Olbermann is nothing more than the guy who was mildly entertaining once at KCBS-TV, I noticed that the “bug” in the corner of the screen was now colored green. I flashed back to last season’s green week, when they dimmed the lights in the control room and ran on hamster power for a break.

I will be honest, I wish I could be more environmentally friendly. So, in honor of “Green Week” I shall now do my part to recycle.  I shall now re-print an earlier blog post that seem to get a lot of click back traffic…

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Not kidding about this…greatest idea, ever.

Click here for the full story. However, this part of the synopsis is what had me:

“Suddenly, a dying David Crosby appears and with his last breath warns Oates of a mysterious secret group of mustache wearers bent on killing other mustache wearers. As actor Tom Selleck attempts to escape from the latest murder scene, Oates summons his own mustache with a fist pump that simultaneously changes his clothes from conservative attire to pink pants and white boots.”

That…is just awesome.

Oates 1, Hall zero.

How I spent my election night…

Tuesday night was an historic night, to say the least. Even though I never prefer to engage in political debate (but have a new found interest in Hockey and the Canadian Football League), I value the process and hate when people have an excuse to question the system…

…like I have now.

Tuesday Night I did NOT see the long lines to vote, and found a lovely little precinct when I went to cast my ballot. All seemed normal when I received my ballot, until I turned to look for the voting machines. I saw some tables with a 4 way partition on them, lots of school lunch tables, and folks just scattered everywhere…voting.  But…no machines.

Alabama does not use these...
Alabama does not use these...

I went to find a place to fill out my ballot, and realized I needed a pen (Alabama uses the “fill-in the circle” method of voting…like the lottery). I began to wander through the hall, and noticed that I could read EVERYONE’S ballot. This was not a secret ballot…in fact I knew who at least 10 different people were voting for before I borrowed a pen from someone who was finishing up. As I walked to where I thought I would have some privacy, I walked past an older woman who was filling out her ballot with some assistance from the person sitting next to her. I could not believe my ears…but I actually heard the words: “This is where you want to mark the bubble”…

WHAT?????????????

This older woman may not have known who she was voting for, but I took a long look as I filled out my ballot…hovering over her table.  She was for Obama, or at least her companion had her fill out the Obama bubble. Of course, it did not help that Democratic candidates were listed first in all categories. Easy for the lazy voter…just fill out the first name you see.

I finished up my ballot, and walked to the voting machine…a giant scantron. As I walked up to it, a poll worker had a stack of completed ballots in her hand…the top one turned face up, so that we all could see who this person voted for.  I walked away stunned after placing my ballot in the scantron, never to be seen again…

…I think.

There is a flaw in the system. Voters need to be kept separated from one another during the voting process, and a polling place should NOT look like a dorm during an open book quiz. Every time I have voted up until now, has been a personal experience, secure and private…this was just odd.

DID Obama really win the election? Who knows…but I know that Obama did well among voters who required help in my precinct.