Kids…and what to do with them.

This week, I am fortunate enough to have my family with me in Alabama. After only one day, it has already been quite an adventure…mostly because of my 7-year-old, Allyn.

It started when I brought them in for a tour of my office, where she noticed that we were in the middle of an infestation of ladybugs. Yes, ladybugs.The cutest bug in the world to a 7 year old.

I'm CUTE!
I'm CUTE!

She immediately noticed that most of the ladybugs had gone to heaven, and that the remaining ladybugs needed to be saved. She proceeded to pick up as many ladybugs as she could, which prompted me to find a container for her use in capturing the ladybugs to be released in the wild.

After she had collected the 9 survivors, we continued our tour and stopped in on one of my fellow Program Directors, Jimbo Wood of 105.5 the Vulcan. Before I could formally introduce him to anyone, my little chatterbox was off and running, explaining in GREAT detail the plight of the ladybugs… Jimbo, to his credit, hung on her every word.  We then exited and released the ladybugs into the bushes outside the building.

At that point, it was time for lunch. I suggested a place that I knew the kids would enjoy and would empower them to make their own choices…Mongolian Barbecue.

The calm before the storm...

We had some fun with my Blackberry taking pictures, but even though they ate quite a bit, Allyn was a bit squirelly. She asked to sit on the same side of the her older sister and I were on. Normally, we say no to this, but I was in a good mood, and gave the okay. She then took a spot in the center of the booth.

After a few minutes, she began to get a bit nutty and loud, and after she announced loudly that she had “farted”, I leaned in close and asked if she “knew where she was”, implying that she was in a restaurant and needed to stop. She thought about the question for a second, and replied:

“In the middle?”

I stopped cold…and just started laughing. “In the middle”…

Brenda crying

My wife, God bless her, tried to keep a straight face, however that was also impossible, as evidenced by her reaction. Just priceless.

Allyn is a handful, but she is also one of a kind, and the only 7-year-old vegetarian I know (you heard me).

My kid…I think i’ll keep her.

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Oh say can you see…the Hoff???

The next sign that the apocalypse is upon us has arrived.

Whats happens in Vegas...does not hassle the Hoff.
What's happens in Vegas...does not hassle the Hoff.

David Hasselhoff has been slotted to sing the National Anthem at The Las Vegas Bowl this Saturday.

You read that right…David FREAKING Hasselhoff!

Wonder if he’ll sing in German?

Until Saturday…enjoy some Full Metal Hoff…

Jon Gruden 1, Charlie Brown 0.

I am a hardcore Christmas guy. I love everything about it. And because of my Yule beliefs, there are some things that I hold sacred.

This is one of them:

Yep, A Charlie Brown Christmas. Even though it is very available on DVD, YouTube, and the like…one of my Christmas traditions is to watch it when it actually comes on TELEVISION each year. However, this year in Tampa, Florida…there is a force more powerful than Santa who will be delaying this holiday tradition for many…

I'm cutting you from special teams, Brown.
I'm cutting you from special teams, Brown.

Jon Gruden…

You see, The Tampa Bay Buccaneers (who I love…) are playing on Monday Night Football at the same time that Chuck will be directing the Christmas play.  ESPN has an agreement that says that if a local team is playing on Monday, they would make the game available on the local ABC affiliate. Channel 28 in Tampa will be showing another balding quarterback, Jeff Garcia, instead of Charlie Brown.

Not to worry, Chuck and the gang will only be postponed…check your local listings, or click here for the full article (and to find out where I swiped that awesome photo).

Hate to say it, but this justifies owning a TIVO…and my hatred of the fact that ESPN has Monday Night Football. Heck, I’d rather have MNF on The CW…at least it would be free…

I was gonna blog about OJ…

…but everyone else already will. He got 15 years… 7 1/2 each for Ron & Nico…oh, wait. Wrong trial.

INSTEAD!

This was sent to me today, and I could not resist. Amazingly, even though it is taken from Full Metal Jacket, it is safe for work. I’d embed the video…but they only let me embed YouTube Videos…punks.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Full Metal Christmas

Ever wonder what working conditions are REALLY like at the North Pole? This video may give you some insight. If you are a fan of Christmas, or Full Metal Jacket…you will laugh. It’s awesome.

Merry Christmas, Sergeant!