But, what about Rock of Love Bus?

It’s that time of year again, when I pontificate and generally be a weenie towards that Great American Institution…Reality TV.

There is NOTHING "real" in this photo
There is NOTHING "real" in this photo

However, instead of focusing on the gratuitous picture of half naked women (HELLLOOOOOOOO web traffic!), it is that All-American display of mediocrity and hair gel that brings our great nation to a halt that I shall focus on.

Oxycontin, take me away!!!
Oxycontin, take me away!!!

You got it…American Idol.

Now, let me clarify…the show itself is must-see TV, not for the singers (who need to NEVER speak as long as they are on that stage. If they do, have Simon put a tranquilizer dart in their thigh…), but for the drama that seems to pop up at the most interesting times. Now, ratings are down slightly this year from what I’ve heard (or made up…the two sometimes clash), so I would not be shocked if this was something that the Idol producers wanted to plant in the news to see if it would generate interest:

IDOL FIXED???

If you click the link, there is an article about an AI staffer (notice they are all “staffers”…rather than “interns”, who claims that the Final Four have already been set ahead of time by the producers, and that is why the “Judges Save” has been implemented…to correct the mistakes of the viewers and keep those that they prefer on the show longer, regardless of what the “346 MILLION NATIONWIDE VOTES”, have to say.  Apparently, even though Lil Rounds and Adam “I Kissed A Boy And I Liked It” Lambert are far and away the best singers, the producers are really pushing for Danny Gokey and Alexis Grace to do well…if even in the final two…due to their compelling stories.  In that event, Scott McIntyre should win the whole thing, but is probably going home tonight.

That being said…we’ll all be watching to see if this is true. Mostly because “The Office” isn’t on until tomorrow.

May not be the Ford Music Video...
May not be the Ford Music Video...

Besides, I’ll be watching to see if Ryan Seacrest has one of those “Total Recall” moments, where his fake head comes off…and Chuck Woolery is underneath.

I'm too lazy to photoshop Ryan's head in here...
I'm too lazy to photoshop Ryan's head in here...

How I want to spend my remaining years…

Yeah, yeah, yeah…it’s been a while. I have this thing called “a life”, which sometimes gets in the way of my childish and wanton posting of videos and nasty food products. My bad.

Besides, I actually prefer the two way street of actual communication.  In that eventuality…write on my Facebook wall and I’ll be snarky right back to ya.

That being said, while surfing aimlessly…I came upon a device that I think I want to be buried in. Since I am apt to spend upwards of 17 hours a day in the shower, I have found “Shower Ecstacy”.

Michael Jackson slept here...
Michael Jackson slept here...

This is the ultimate in shower technology.  It’s got a freakin’ MP3 player!!! This thing will get you clean…and pregnant at the same time. For the “rest of the story”…click here.

I may never get out…