If Today Was Your Last Day…and it is.

It’s the end of an era. Today, marks a watershed moment for a lot of people I know…as it is the final day that a friend of mine, and former “partner in crime” walks the halls.

 

09
Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta…but shitty to be unemployed.

It’s also a bittersweet milestone, as it was 3 months ago today that we sat in the studio, talking about our path of life and love. Who knew, that exactly 3 months later to the day…we both will have taken our curtain calls, and would leave the building in less than ideal circumstances.

It’s been a tough road for them, a road that I tried desperately to make smoother with my friendship and feelings…but I always knew, that their heart was never really into the job, or even…us for that matter. They talked all the time about life after radio, but were unsure what the future held as this was the first and only “real job” they’d ever had. That worries me, as they now go out into a world that is not as forgiving, or as fun as radio could be. The other concern, is that no matter how hard I tried, they were never truly “happy” about anything.  I saw it everyday. In the office, during private time, an underlying level of negativity and sadness about life that could not be helped.

Will they ever truly be “happy”, I don’t think so…and perhaps that is a reason why our friendship could not stand the test. Rather than finding happiness in what is important in life…they seem to live in the moment, and not to any long-term life plan. In life, or matters of the heart. It’s an almost irrational mindset for them, fueled by those who don’t have the same responsibilities that my friend does. Even still…rather than fight the tough fight, and do what is right, there is the tendency for them to take the easy way out, and that seems to be exactly the case here. They didn’t want to fight for their career, or the person they said they loved…it was all about looking past the moment, and hoping that the grass is greener somewhere else. I just wish I’d seen those tendencies in them long before I did, for my own sake.

You could say that after so many years in one position, this person is not afraid of commitment. I beg to differ. Instead, they are afraid of a challenge, and willing to settle far too easily. After all, no one with goals works that long in radio, and makes less than $40,000 a year without settling.  That’s not an extraordinary life, and now…looking at the possibilities that “might” lie ahead for them in the private sector…it’s just going to become more “average” every day. No more concerts, no more record dinners, now it’s just a nine to five routine and the hope that maybe they can break out of the mundane from time to time.

I wish them the best in life and love. Do I think they’ll ever find what they are looking for? ……….no. No, I don’t. It’s not in their nature, nor do I think they really know what they are looking for exactly. 3 months ago today…the future was bright. Now, the unremarkable life…is the new normal for them.