Cat People

Have you had these types of pictures e-mailed to you?

Yes, they are meant to show us how cute their cats are.  Here is another example…

 Nice to see they posed their kitty next to their smokes, huh? Yes…cute…but totally UNREALISTIC!!!

I am a bit of a cat person. I may have 3 dogs now, but that is only because my oldest cat decided that she had had enough of us, and left for the big litter box in the sky. She was cute once, but she understood the pecking order:

Dad

Mom

Kids

Herself

Lint

Any other living organisms

Dead mice

Dogs 

Yes, she would have taken out all 3 dogs, in a sinister and evil way if she could.

This is an example of her typical attitude towards the world around her:

She drinks your milkshake…

Yes, she was cute…and yes, she could mess up your world…THAT is reality. Cats are cute to a point, and then they only care about world domination. “Let’s see…how can we make the humans understand that we mean business? Oh Yes! I will place a dead mouse at his feet to show hm what I am capable of and that I am NOT to be trifled with!”

Binkley, 1990-2007.

Winter is like Charles Bronson

It’s back…and it’s G@& Dam^ed Pi$$ed Off!

It is snowing in Memphis. They are expecting at least 5 inches of this stuff by later tonight. Or, as they call it in Utah: “A Slow News Day”

Here is a photo from out of my studio window from just moments ago:

Since the only snow removal equipment within 50 miles is at the end of our arms, the City Of Memphis is closed…please follow the official snow policy and stock up on Canned Asparagus and other essentials. We may not make it thru the night… I will be following my snow plans…which involve a bottle of Cabernet and a hunk of Asiago…

 Happy Motoring! Please drive through….

Brett Far-v-ruh

Brett Favre retired today. That acid reflux is a bitch.

It’s snowing…kind of.

Before I come off sounding like some nordic ski buff, let me clarify that I grew up in California, but lived in some snowy climates in my time. Utah was the most recent (although I am trying to repress those memories), and I had more than a few days of getting up before dawn to shovel my driveway just so we could go to work. (No, there are no such thing as snow days there.) And to answer the next question, I do not ski. If I’m going that fast downhill, I need an airbag in front of me….not a piece of plastic on my noodle.

 This is not a recent photo, it’s 20 years old, and so was I.

That being said, we are having flurries here in Memphis. It is far too warm for it to stick to the ground (36 degrees at the time I write this), so it will just be pretty and maybe a bit slushy. Or as they call it in Utah…”Tuesday”.

The major issue is that if it starts to stick to the ground, Memphis will shut down. Not just schools, but the whole freakin’ town. When it really snows here, it’s like nuclear winter. It gets slient and people just start staring at the sky.  Then…chaos erupts. Driving becomes impossible. Not because it’s treacherous, but because one guy in each lane of every road, decides hes never seen snow before, and has to slow down to look at every single flake. THAT is why traffic sucks during snowstorms. Bad Drivers.

 Then they hit Kroger and stock up on crap they never thought they needed, like Creamed Spinach. Uhhh, okay.

I have already heard at least one person say that they need to go to Kroger to “get ready”. For what? To sit in the house and watch the flurries melt when they hit the grass? It’s 36 degrees!!! Or in Utah…”Springtime”.

Back to your lives, citizens. Schools will stay open, Power will continue to flow, and my dogs will still refuse to go outside because it’s too wet.

It’s Tuesday…

Head Cold

…I have a MASSIVE one going on right now. Brutal. I feel fine…just that my hat size is the same as Barry Bonds. If that’s not enough…it is raining. Hard. After a 70 degree weekend. Ugh…

I’ll take one Sudafeda-tini, please. Or I’ll just open another bottle of Red Truck and numb my pain…mmmm, pain.

The Movie that I am most interested in this summer…

Being a HUGE fan of Raiders of the Lost Ark, you’d think that I am all geeked out about Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. I am…but that’s not my biggest “must-see”.  What is it?

There you go…it could be the stupidest thing ever seen on screen, but for some reason, Steve Carell is Maxwell Smart seems like some incredibly inspired casting. Can’t figure out why “The Rock” is in it though, other than to give us the second jewel in the “Game Plan/Get Smart/Pacifier 2, Electric Boogaloo” triple crown of acting. (Okay, he hasn’t done the last movie yet…but it seems plausible)

Enjoy…

My alter-ego

In addition to my day job of programming and announcticating on FM 100, I am also involved with a great online radio station on Live 365. It’s That 70’s Channel.

It’s run by one of my oldest friends, Bud Kress. I am the image voice for the station…it’s too much fun! If you’re looking for a good time, check out the station…and if you’re looking for a new image voice…check it out and hit me up! I’m affordable! 🙂

Dunkin’ Donuts…and my level of relaxation.

If I haven’t made this clear (and being only post #2…probably not), I am a coffee junkie. To quote Barney Gumble: “JUST STICK IT IN MY VEINS!!!”

I have always liked trying different types of coffees, whole bean of course, and becoming a coffee “snob”. However, I have recently come across some good ole’ just plain joe…

Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee

Problem is, I’m sure there are those who think “You idiot! Dunkin’ Donuts has been around for years! You JUST noticed this???” Uh, yeah. You gotta understand, I lived in California most of my life, where the chances of finding a Dunkin’ Donuts were about the same as finding an NFL team in Los Angeles anymore. Even in Utah, Krispy Kreme had tightened it’s Vader-like grip on the donut world…and I just wanted Coffee. We even had a coffee bar in a radio station I worked for (that place is another story for another day). However, it all tasted like too-strong Starbucks wannabejava. Then one day I was in the office of my fellow Program Directors, Jeff McCartney of KZHT. He had BAGS of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee in his office. He said he had purchased them online since he grew up in Pennsylvania and missed it.So, I went online and bought some as well…

COFFEE NIRVANA!!!

This stuff was awesome. Just plain coffee…and just plain good! However, I am a very lazy person. So, I rarely had the chance to buy it again.

Then came Memphis…

After we merged with Entercom, our Controller mentioned that she was going up to Boston and was planning on buying some DD Coffee. I immediately gave her $20 and asked for 2 bags… when she came back, it was gone within a couple of weeks. I knew that she couldn’t continue as my coffee mule to Boston every few weeks, so I had to hold onto the hope that Dunkin’ was planning on opening stores here in Memphis…in the next few years. We even made a trip to a Dunkin’ store in Jackson, some 80 miles away, just for the coffee (well, the Casey Jones Museum was there too…)

Then…during a fateful trip to Schnucks, there it was. WHOLE BEAN Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee! My life had purpose again…and I am now caffeinated and relaxed…

As Paul Harvey says: “Now you know…the rest of the story!”

Blog…huh! What is it good for?

Let’s start at the beginning. Hi, I’m Lance. I am 40. I am a Leo on the Virgo cusp…

Enough chit-chat, let’s get down to business.

I’ve come to realize that if I continue to prod my airstaff into blogging and using all of the tools of the internet, then to not regularly blog myself would be quite hypocritical. After all, I have a MySpace (why? Great question), and have linked it to the FM 100 MySpace account, so there is some avenue and reason why I feel compelled to share my mindless wandering.

What shall I blog about? Life. The Radio Industry. My Family. Pretty much anything is fair game.

For example, right now I am fighting illness. My throat is tightening up, and it is hard to swallow. So there. That’s post #1.

Enjoy…